Dream peddler

                                                 You may be the moonshine that lightens up my face;

You may be the final sweat spilled in this destiny defying dance;

You may be the reason why there is still music in the wars!

You may be the reason why lovers still find a heaven in the stars!

You love me but you don’t know, I am the orphan of destiny!!

You may be the just a drop in the rain;

You may be the angel who soothes the pain;

You may be the reason, why the nights still bleed!

You may be the reason, why silences speak and eyes read!

You hate me but you don’t know that I still love the seas!!

You may be a dreamer’s thrill;

You may be a shadow too real;

You may be the reason, why people don’t fight with fate!

You may be the reason, why the moon doesn’t shine off-late!

You stay indifferent, but you don’t know I hide my face and still cry!!

You may be the silent sound of the night;

You may be the hand in this poetry in the light;

You may be the reason, why it feels like the tears are mine!

You may be the reason, why all emotions seem benign!

.

.

How far will the tears roll?

How dead will life be for me?

.

.

How long will this walk be?

How scary will this dream be?

It’s only a matter of time, before you can bleed like me

…..or can you?

Off the twilight zone;

Into the woods

Of the sleeping sun;

Can you fall in love with the red?

Oh! Babe! Keep the smile and bleed like me!

It’s only a matter of time, that you realize the reds in me,

…, before you can love to die.

In the hands of eternity;

Into a lifetime

Of a spotless mind;

Can you see the same old dream?

Oh! Babe! Bleed in red, but keep the smile like me!

It’s only a matter of time, you realize; there are angels in the nights  

…, before you can live in the everyday.

Turn the page;

Of my shadows

Of the 1000 miles;

Can you sing that beauty must live?

Oh! Babe! Would you agree that pain’s a beauty!

It’s only a matter of time that you think, who you are.

…see me, when you look at nothing.

To fade in you;

Of spilled blood

Of love undone;

You can’t bleed like I do?

 Oh! Babe! Keep the smile, coz I won’t show how I bled.

I have shed my tears all of this night,

I have started this yet again, a brand new fight!

The moon, the time and the steely September,

Whispered to me, “U must move, she aint your lover”!

Another dream went crashing down in the fall,

The bullet with the butterfly wings has miles, before the final call!

If you were the sands, and I the sea,

To kiss your toes with foams of love, it would have been me.

If you were the subtle breath, and I the soft whisper,

To ignite the fire within, I would have; in the sultry November.

If you were the princess and I the fortress,

To wipe your tears, I would have; in distress.

If you were the ruby and the I the dust,

To move away, I would have and let you lust;

If you were the effect and I the cause,

To let bliss flow, I would have, ‘n let moment pause.

If you were the dreams, and I the darkest of the night

                   To make the stars come closer, I would have traveled years of light.

If you were the rose, and I the thorn,

To see the red of the rose, I would have been born.

I have thought over it so many times,

Hardly found an octet that actually rhymes.

As whispers merge into the twilight…

I kiss the dying sun,

Hoping the dawn

To be eternal and bright

I missed you in my dreams.

I have taken grief, in the everyday…

I have fought,

The burning midnight

But I was the heel of Achilles

I missed you in my dreams.

As I romanced the moon and the black …

I have betrayed,

The thirst of this illusion

I refused to drink the darkness

I missed you in my dreams.

I never saw the way to this maze…

Every door I crept on to,

Was a mirage

It wasn’t my destiny

I missed you in my dreams.

You were never meant for me…

It was I, who loved you,

Some people,

Are destined to be the sea

I missed you in my dreams.

It was always summer…

But it rained,

Like never before

I will miss your face, your voice, your smile,

I missed you in the twinkle of my dreams.

“Blue blistering barnacles!!!!

Thundering typhoons!!!

You nincompoops, interplanetary pirates, I am not going into that flying coffin again!!!!”

–Capt. Haddock to Thompson and Thomson in the,” Explorers on the Moon”

Oh!!! How could I forget captain Haddock and his favorite Loch Lomond brand of whiskey? And the inimitable Cuthbert Calculus, Bianca Castafiore, the two bumbling detectives? I was lazing around… in front of the idiot box last night, and suddenly this show on cartoon network came up…I just thought of watching Tintin for a change… and I exclaimed to myself, “blue blistering barnacles, I forgot almost all the stories in it!!!! And once it had been one of my choicest of all books. I still remember I almost pestered my mom to insanity every other day, to buy me all the Tintin series until I had all 23 of them. Hee haw!!! Someday I was too bored of reading them over and over again, I would scramble up to my mom’s lap and blurred out,

“MOOOOm, read this story for me, pleaseeeee” my dad was always my back up plan, because he was a bit impatient while reading out stories. Lol…

There was a time, when I had almost memorized the entire 23 books, err… well almost!! I used to sit with a Tintin book on the dining table, while having meals, and I could hear my mom screaming,

“Why do you bring this book, along with the food?”

And she used to show stupid excuses,

”if you don’t pay attention to what you are eating, you will never grow up into a strong boy!!”

And I being the smallest of all kids, used to look up to mom, starry eyed, and murmur under my breath,

“Ma, just this one last time, only 10 pages left to read” my mom would say,

“no, leave this book, I will tell you a nice story instead… oh!! I was heart broken!

A child and his childishness hah!! My mom finally gave up the idea.

Then there were days, when we actually used actually play being Tintin. Ewes, what was that game. Umm, well we used build houses with the legos and actually make up our own story with a certain tuft less Tintin, a hot tempered captain Haddock, and the good old Cuthbert calculus, who used to act as he was “a little hard of hearing.” And that game would be fun, with occasional fights,(childhood adventures you know).

One day I even slipped one Tintin book into my school bag, so that I could read it in class, and I did, and I got my caught too!!! I had a guardian call. Gawwwd, I can still pain in my butt, I was crying like a baby (well… I was one at that time…). My dad locked up all my 23 hot collection in the cupboard, until my final examination was over. God!! How crazy can dads get over silly things!!

I reached for my precious book shelf, wiped out the dust, went through the stupid Enid Blytons, hardy boys, the dumb old pop-up books, the john grishams and the amitav ghoshs’ until I found the entire 23 crazy diamonds. The pages have turned yellow, with time, the corners of the front covers were coming off, I wiped the dust off with my hands, and thought oh! Crap what a mad little brat I was, over this immortal soul, and handed it over to my 6 yr old cousin sister, who went away dancing… I was really happy that day.

Its like passing on a precious gem, the passion will never die.

Hey c’mon guys this Tintin fever’s not yet over now, I got a Tintin cd collectors pack, the entire lot.

A touch – a shiver – of heaving breaths – of dripping water – along the bare skin – a whisper – unreadable – a pleasure – of unspoken words – of a silence that speaks – a love bite – butterfly wings; fluttering - the unseen reds – of a kiss - of curled up emotions – into the wilderness – a beckoning green – a tear – out of the corner of her left eye – a thought never spoken – but understood – a confrontation – a compromise – a hangover - called life!            

In the backwaters of life, of marinated love!

WHEN YOU THINK IT’S ALL OVER, IT HAS ONLY BEGUN!

I want to be the hero’s only chance. The hero that’s just so sublime, within me. I want that hero to have no choice, but only ONE fixed destiny, take it or perish in its quest. On a lonely November midnight, I let the full moon burn, to burst into flames, in a vain attempt of a resurrection. A moment of glory has been my survival instinct till now. I yearned for that silence that none has heard till now. I have desired the undesired, but is it the undesirable?      

What is life? – Life is water.

What is the motive of life? – To quench the thirst.

Why are we alive? – To drink this water.

hey all,

I will be off to Bangalore, off to, where my old college is and definitely my heart too… within a few short hours, and yes, i am so damn excited, about it… to a place where you actually spent 4 budding years of life.. we can actually have our own…”Five Point someone”… college was that fun… i wont be back before 1 week…(on28th Aug’07, i suppose) maybe i will try and reply from the local cyber cafes, but hell, i wish i could take my lappy down there…!! sigh!

take care everybody .. so till then ciao…

Acceptance,

The universality of my choice,

A-make-believe reality called life.

My memories never cease to amaze me, of how they swarm in at the moments I expect them the least. Unexpected guests they are, but they start concurring your thoughts you hardly mind their invisible presence. A plaything of the sub conscious, the devil’s desire, the stub of all evolution; mental.

The back face - doppelganger, an alter ego, in its purest form. This alter ego, as it is, I wonder at times if its there for a reason,

Following me,

Stalking me,

Confusing me,

It makes me realize my drive, reinforces that point, that promise I made to myself. It reinstates that freedom that I have now, always existed in the school books. A something is should strive for, even though I understood it long back. It makes me realize that my reason is more important than the I. but ultimately when I stare at the blackness of the night sky, devoid of all those once glittering stars, I see nothing but nothing.

Feeling detached,

Feeling alleviated,

Feeling an existential crisis,

I always believed there is something about nothing. Otherwise why should we feel so calm when we look at nothing? Why do we fear nothing, if there really wasn’t anything? Isn’t it strange that we urge to merge into the nothingness, to let go this mundane, materialistic dream. May be an interview with this brand name Nothing can clear something.

Intoxicating,

Beautifying,

To think about nothing – how difficult is it?

My memories – this nothing. Sometimes it evolves into a mere egoistic dot in this certain timeline that I think I exist. Sometimes it makes a something of the nothingness in me. It can achieve something. It teaches me to pretend. Beyond all aspects it tells me not to be me. Nothing has something in it. But is the reverse true? Can something metamorphose into nothing? It tells me to do this exact thing. To keep your emotions to yourself.

Also at: http://sauvik.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/08/nothing-really.htm

“Oh! The east is east and the west is west, and never the twain shall meet”. Shall they ever meet? 60 years from now on, year 2067, the liberal economists have a positive model, all set up for India. Can the “rich” India actually lurch forward, carrying its “poor” twin, into a sophisticated, independent, global superpower? Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one, but, the point is that (to which hardly anyone would raise their voices), right now we face, and represent a twin, diametrically opposite, basically a triplet, the third one being the “pampered class” of people.

Historically speaking, ever since Alexander’s invasion, began India’s tryst with destiny. With the flow of time, the Mughals, the Dutch, the Portuguese, and finally the British Raj, has left one of south Asia’s most prosperous nation face-to-face with impoverishment, heart-wrenching famines and sowed the seeds for being the “eternally developing nation”. It’s interesting to note what William Dalrymple mentions in one of his articles for the TIME:

In 1600, when the East India Company was founded, Britain was generating 1.8% of the world’s GDP, while India was producing 22.5%. By 1870, at the peak of the Raj, Britain was generating 9.1%, while India had been reduced for the first time to the epitome of a Third World nation, a symbol across the globe of famine, poverty and deprivation.

What caused this huge divide, this breach in the approaching Indian summer? With the glitz that we see, with the digital invasion, the chrome and glass IT centers, with a soaring GDP, the next best to china, what seems like India is wired and wired for good. But the question is that, with so much poverty, the ‘diminishing’ back face of India, how India managed to maintain a high degree of free enterprise despite the striking dark side? Majority of the people in India are below poverty line, yet India is a democracy?

Advantage Democracy?

Or a culture of corrupt mindsets?

 Experts say that the British gave India the democracy in 1947. But again a question pops up. When should democracy be ideally introduced in a nation? When can democracy be an advantage, and when does it stall progress? Glancing at the world politics, and comparing the democracy in India with other “successful” democratic nation, we may observe that democratic rule in India has been untimely and premature. The western counterparts had a successful stint with democracy has been on the foundation of a strong economic platform. The basic need for democracy to flourish is the base of economic condition of a nation. Citing the example of Japan or Korea they believe in a strong bureaucratic rule, it provides the necessary strong leadership to bring on a string base of economic stability. On one hand democracy in India did bring out the voice of the people to the forefront, but on the reverse side, it has created a sickened distribution of wealth among the people, representing the ugly skeletons of immense social exclusion.

In spite of all the odds, India and democracy has been inseparable entities, and it has shown the democracy isn’t needed but it’s inevitable.  Despite all the doomed predictions democracy in India, did rise resulting in making the nation the 3^rd largest economies of the world, and if predictions are to be believed India will overtake china by 2030 and the US by 2050, in economic terms. What really made Indian democracy click? It’s like a chaos that survived and is now thriving. What is the secret of success behind India’s untimely and premature democracy? Maybe India’s multi tired constitutional approach, its bottoms up electoral process that is just so perfectly suited for the diverse nature of the nation, may have fuelled the success mantra for India, finally.   Even though the growth hasn’t been as striking as its Chinese counterparts, but the recent economic boom can’t be overlooked, nor ignored rest aside its huge poverty stricken mass. Even the fiercest protestors will beg to agree that India has come a long way post-independence. People hardly think of snake-charmers and elephants when they think of India now. The beaming face of India upholds software giants, steel tycoons. Not only do we talk about the IT and the BPO industry, but the telecom, textile, retail, auto, manufacturing and power industries are breathing fire down China’s neck, India’s closest competitor. It’s an open secret how India GDP has grown over 9%, and optimists won’t be disappointed, if India continues the rampage to double figures.

Indian Economy: The Dark Horse?

Is the suffering India the Real India?

All said and done. Growing growth rate, the third largest economy, a predicted double figure growth for the next quarter: in short an “India shining” is on the cards. But what troubles us here, is the inequality in the growing economy. Economists’ state how the absolute poverty is decreasing according to the much-hyped and booming Indian economy, but serious contradictions can be placed when we observe the rise in the relative poverty i.e., the inequality in income. The poorer India however shares very little with its half brother. It’s true that it’s only a matter of time, if India can keep the growth momentum, before poverty can be mostly eradicated, then why do we need to worry about the income inequality? Just because this unequal wealth distribution can evolve into various cancerous possibilities, like social exclusion, medical conditions and health care is just an example. The UN Development report had published the GINI index, where India has figures of 32.5. The GINI index is a measure of the inequality of the income in the nation. This can be termed quite favorable when compared with other countries. But after the neo-liberation reforms this inequality of income is growing fast. And this can cause serious repercussions in the society. It has been observed that health care systems are better designed in richer countries, than countries which are poor. Sole economic growth can never be the scale of India’s development. It can never empower India as a true superpower in the horizon of the first world nations.

The Social Demons

The Reservation Debate: Education

The latest economic reforms have seen the pampered class of people taking multiple leaps, though theoretically and serving only the political motives of our hurly-burly politician class. The debate that raged through the country about the reservation rights of the SCs/STs/OBCs has actually brought up many an ugly facet of modern developed India.  81% of the rural population practice untouchability, when there’s social seclusion so prevalent among the classes of the Indian society. Even though K.R. Narayanan represented Indian president-ship, did the condition of the Dalits decrease? Did they get their rights, their so much desired justice? No. what is this quota fracas? When we have started accepting the SCs and the STs without discrimination, then why the reservation quotient comes from? By reserving seats in the educational institutions, the parliament, the job sectors, aren’t we just fueling the mentality that we are superior to the, in terms of overall performance. But when statistics is counted, the SCs and the STs have a whooping 14% into the IITs and the IIMs admitted as general candidates. When the socially backward people don’t have the means to get even the primary education completed, how does the question arise of any higher education? Where did this history of reservation quotas take India, if not any near prosperity? Just to fill the vote banks of our ever thirsty “political” castes.

India has to get the basics rights, otherwise the future picture can as distorted as future economists predict. Isn’t providing education to a child till he is 14 years of age a fundamental duty of the parents? But are they being properly executed? The government should take enough initiatives so that the measures are followed. And we Indians have this total dependency on the ruling government to provide us education, social security, economic stability, as we shun all responsibilities. Is this approach correct? Isn’t this a negative mind set that have set in? We take our government for granted. We take our freedom for granted and the worst of it all we take our self-respect for granted, but strikingly different is our mindset in any developed foreign country.                                         

The empowerment of the women, in India has indeed been one of the most talked over matters. The abolition of sati and the child marriage to Indira Gandhi and Prativa Patil, these definitely hold up a broader picture about the women getting their rights, looking at matters closely, they have hardly been significant achievement. With the principle of gender equality in our constitutional preamble, could we really get any where near the goal that we set for us? Women are still facing immense gender discrimination, when justice doesn’t come easy on the cards. There are still miles to go in here…

Conclusion

Can India live Kalam’s dream?

60 years of the Independence.

350 Millions Of our people live in poverty.

23crore and 30 lakh people live in starvation.

We have hardly any social justice.

Virtually no social security.

 Health care, sanitation, education, infrastructure, drinking water, food, are still main concerns what Dr. Kalam perceives as the developed India of 2020

We make our voices hoarse, we strain our vocal chords, but why can’t we at the same time make strides in moving forward, with a dream of making this country a global strength. After rummaging through all the information, I find 80% of the articles, as negatives, and the rest 20% positives. Yes. We should criticize, but that should be constructive criticism. If we don’t voice our opinions, who will..? If we don’t break all hell loose, to the path of elevation, in India’s undaunted, infinite potential, who will? But, yes we must keep this in mind, that we should also fulfill our commitments, do our parts for our country. We are so busy criticizing the government for their inadequacy, that we forget our own responsibilities. The same we, that cursed our huge population, are seeing it as source of immense man power. We don’t acknowledge our achievements.  Our media is so negative, in all respects. If we don’t dream Kalam’s dream, who will?

What we think we are, we are.

The dream peddler

8^th August 7, 2007

Behind every success, there is a sacrifice…

Behind every puff of smoke, there is a fire…

Behind every love song, there is a love story…

Behind every minute passed in life, there’s one innocence…

Every thing we do, there’s an invisible hand, that lights up our way that inspires and infuses. People say life is all about give and take. What you give is what u take! But somewhere I feel there’s always a mismatch. Sometimes what you give to the world is not something you receive. Some cause you are fighting for is not fulfilled. A jigsaw puzzle that has gone awry? Somewhere, at some point of time, we feel a dearth. A desire behind which we gave our best, but still that vacuum is there. The unfulfilled expectation.

There’s many a slip between the cup and lip.

Why didn’t the love song die, since the love has been lost?

Why wasn’t sacrifice taken back, if we didn’t meet our destination?

Why didn’t the fire in the burning cigarette go down, if the smoke couldn’t kill?

Why didn’t we get back our lost innocence, if every life has one destiny, i.e., death?

We have one life. And its destiny? Death! Hell or heaven? Every love song we write, every success we crawl up to, every fire we light up, every minute we pass, every innocence, we leave behind, all has but, one destiny. Still why do we fight back? Why do count the odds? We are we like the sea? Kissing the feet our desire, but could never achieve that, and still we try. Why don’t we give up?  Why do we walk alone, still; in the boulevard of broken dreams?

The cup is the desire.

The lip is the will, that invisible hand.

The slip is love.

The world still moves because it is “in love”. Love is the invisible hand that makes us go in search of all our dreams. We love our life, that’s why we still breathe. Every thing sums up to love. Love plays god all our lives. Love takes us slowly to eternity, that destination, death. We die in love. But still we love. Every war fought, has love at the end. The love of victory, the love of dominance. Every love story told to us as the love song behind it. The love might have been lost, but not the love song. This the love of sweet submission, the love of defeat, fantasy. Every sacrifice, behind an unfulfilled dream has the love of a fire rekindled, the love of a new dream, and rising from the ashes. Every minute we pass in our life, we look back. It’s the love of our long gone innocence. Our road to reminiscence.

In our childhood, mom taught us, that god is everywhere you look. The flowers, the dewdrops at the tip of a leaf, within you, within me. Everywhere. Our innocence put our trust in it. We were in love with nature. Hence we still ran…

At a time, when everything in our life was going wrong, none of the puzzles were matching, we put our trust in the belief. We were in love with our instincts. The faith worked as a mental support, we had sowed decades ago. The innocence returned. Somehow we got the strength and we ran…

Nelson Mandela redefined racism, because he loved the godliness of mankind, of being purely a human. Not a penny more, not a penny less. Tagore, penned Gitanjali, and redefined literature, because he was in love with expressions of his inner self. Hitler redefined war, he was in love with his pride.

Forrest Gump chose to run… he was in love with life… and he ran, ran and ran…

He became a shadow of ours…!